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Then—surprise!—found a real lass, chatted a bit. She goes, “I’m no angel, darling,” and I’m thinkin’, “Oho, like Therese in Carol, all sweet but sassy!” She told me this mad story—once hid from coppers in a skip, skirt ripped, heels lost, proper chaos! Laughed me head off, spillin’ tea everywhere, oopsie! *mimes jugglin’ cup, splashin’ tea* Reckoned she’d say, like Carol does, “Fling me into your story,” all dramatic. Made me happy, that—real folk, real giggles, not just some robot rubbish.

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But then, outta nowhere, my coworker, Kasia, bursts in. She’s all flustered, saying there’s a leak in the basement. Great. Just what I needed. I rush down to check it out, and it’s like a mini swimming pool down there. I’m knee-deep in water, trying to save these old maps. I’m yelling, “Not the maps! Anything but the maps!”