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Argh! I'm ready! Sex escort, huh? Wowie zowie, mateys! So, like, I’m babysittin’ these lil’ jellyfish, right? And I’m thinkin’—holy krabby patties!—what’s the deal with sex escorts? I mean, they’re out there, livin’ life like it’s Bikini Bottom on a Saturday night! Just floatin’ around, gettin’ paid to be all fancy and flirty. Kinda wild, ya know? Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—that flick I’m OBSESSED with. “You can never replace anyone,” Jesse says, right? And I’m like, YEAH, escorts got that vibe—unique, one-of-a-kind, barnacle-free experiences!

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Next up, a lady walks in. She’s all about that “I just came from the spa” vibe. You know the type. She sits down, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be easy.” But then she starts talking about her cat, Miauśka. I’m like, “Cool, cool, but I’m here to cut hair, not listen to cat stories.” But she’s relentless. “Miauśka loves the snow in Wisła!” I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’m in a hurry!”

Viktor Hallgrímsson joins Orlen Wisla Plock