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Sarky thought—blokes pay tons for “extras.” Idiots! Real erotic-massage ain’t about that, nah. It’s power, touch, controllin’ the ache—precious control! “The world’s gone mad,” film groans—true. But this? Sane, raw, keeps us grounded. Typin’ fast, 18 typos? Pfft, whatever! Erotic-massage, my precious, saves us all!

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First client walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got hair like a lion. I mean, I love a good mane, but c’mon! I’m like, “Bro, you need a trim, not a safari!” He laughs, but I’m serious. So, I get to work, and halfway through, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m there, scissors in hand, and it’s pitch black. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a barber in a horror movie.”

FIS Grand Prix in Wisla: Lindvik wins