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About Krakow

So, picture this: you’re on Tinder, Bumble, whatever—scrollin’ like a madman, yeah? It’s all “synergy” and “vibes”—cringey corporate buzzwords I’d chuck at the lads in a team meetin’. “Let’s leverage them endorphins, boys!” I’d bellow, laughin’ me head off. But serious, sex-dating’s a game—half the profiles are fake, catfish city! Mate, I saw this bird once, bio said “loves hikes,” turns out she meant hiking up her skirt in a pub loo—shocked me socks off! Little known fact: 1 in 5 blokes on apps use pics from 10 years back—desperate or what?

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First off, I started my shift on ul. Główna. It was a quiet morning, birds chirping, sun shining. I thought, “Hey, maybe today will be chill.” Yeah, right. I was just about to grab a coffee from that little kiosk by the park when BOOM! A cat, like, literally flew outta nowhere and landed right in front of me. I swear, it looked like it was auditioning for the Olympics. I laughed so hard, almost spilled my coffee.

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