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It’s showtime! Alright, pal, lemme spill on erotic-massage – wild stuff, right? Picture this: dim lights, oils slicker than a eel, hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure. I’m a lumberjack, sure, but this ain’t choppin’ wood – it’s slow, steamy, like the fog rollin’ in “The Return”. That movie, man, it’s all quiet tension, just like when the masseuse hits that spot – “The sea’s close, you feel it?” – damn right I do!

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Then, I decide to check out the local art scene. There’s this gallery on ul. Słoneczna, and I walk in, thinking it’ll be all serious and stuff. But nah, it’s a total vibe! The art is wild, like, abstract stuff that makes you go, “What even is that?” I’m standing there, trying to look all cultured, when this artist comes up to me. He’s like, “What do you think?” I’m like, “Uh, it’s… colorful?” He just nods, and I’m like, “Great, I nailed it.”

IN PICTURES: Joyce takes home Leo Graham Medal