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Here’s a mad one—Victorians, yeah, them prudes—they had “pelvic massage” for “hysteria,” docs did it! *gawks, jaw drops* Imagine that advert: “Cure ya woes with a rub-down!” *chuckles, snorts* Bet they whispered, “It’s all over now,” like in me movie, after a dodgy sesh. Surprised me silly, that did—thought they was all stiff collars, no fun!

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But then, I realize I lost my phone. Panic mode activated! I’m retracing my steps, running around like a headless chicken. I’m about to lose it. But then, I spot it! It’s sitting on that bench in the park. I’m like, “Thank you, universe!”