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Now, don’t get me twisted—Escort’s basic, but it’s loyal. Like Carol whisperin’, “What a strange girl you are.” Ain’t flashy like them Teslas, but it gets you there, boo. I’d animate it with a lil wink, maybe some lipstick—give it that Southern strut! Prolly exaggerate them curves too, ‘cause why not? Madea likes it big and bold!

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Finally, I head back to my hotel, exhausted but happy. Wiecbork, you’ve been a wild ride. I’m leaving with a full heart and a ton of stories. Who knew a small town could pack such a punch? I’ll definitely be back. Just gotta remember to bring an umbrella next time!