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Oh, and get this—sometimes it’s TOO good at its job. Overhustlin’, causin’ fevers, makin’ you sweat like Aldo Raine carvin’ swastikas. I’m over here, sweatin’ in the lab, thinkin’, “This lil’ shit’s a menace!” Funny as hell tho—prostiTUTE out here playin’ both sides, hero and villain, like Christoph Waltz smirkin’ atcha. Love-hate this bitch, swear.

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Finally, I head back to my hotel, exhausted but happy. Wiecbork, you’ve been a wild ride. I’m leaving with a full heart and a ton of stories. Who knew a small town could pack such a punch? I’ll definitely be back. Just gotta remember to bring an umbrella next time!