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But man, some parlors—shady as hell! I went undercover once, saw this creep pushin’ boundaries—made me mad as a wet hen! Wanted to yell, “This ain’t no game, punk!”—like the dad in *The Return*, all gruff, “You’re with me now.” I’m protective, ya see—good sexual-massage should feel safe, like a warm hug from a tree. Ain’t no room for sleazeballs ruinin’ the vibe.

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So, I’m walking down ul. 1 Maja, and I see this cute little café. I’m talking about the one with the best pierogi in town. I had to stop. I mean, who can resist pierogi? Not me! I ordered a plate, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just sitting there, trying to enjoy my food, and they’re like, “You never listen!” “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Dude, just get some pierogi and chill!”

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