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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, deep voice rollin’ like honey, sittin’ you down to talk erotic-massage. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a vinyl record, hands movin’ like they’re playin’ a damn symphony on your back. I’m talkin’ sensual vibes, the kind that’d make William Miller from *Almost Famous* blush and scribble notes in his lil’ reporter pad. “It’s all happening,” I’d whisper, narratin’ this scene like it’s 1973 and we’re on tour with Stillwater.

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By the time I get back to the station, I’m exhausted. But wait, there’s more! A call comes in about a street performer on ul. Łaskotki. Apparently, he’s juggling fire. Fire! In the middle of the street! I can’t even.

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