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Still, some creeps ruin it. Sleazy parlors givin it a bad rap — ugh, makes me wanna carve em up. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter, picturin their smug faces. But when it’s done right? Heaven, man. Pro tip: warm oil’s the key, none of that cold crap. And if they throw in a happy endin — well, who’s complainin? “What’s left is what matters,” Varda’d say, and I’m left feelin like a king. So, yeah, sexual-massage? Messy, sexy, fuckin glorious. Try it, ya won’t regret it — or maybe ya will, ha!

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Finally, the fire crew shows up. They’re all geared up, and I’m thinkin’, “Finally, some real heroes.” They set up the ladder, and the dude’s still up there, livin’ his best life. They coax him down with a promise of pizza. I mean, who can resist pizza, right?

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