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Okay, so prostitutes—been around forever, legit! Oldest job, they say, older than Bikini Bottom! Back in Rome, they had lupanars—fancy word for brothels, ha! Girls painted their lips red to show they’re “workin’.” Ain’t that nuts? Imagine SpongeBob seein’ that—red lips everywhere, I’d flip me lid! “I’m ready! I’m ready!”—but nah, I’d be blushin’ like a sea tomato.

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But then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “C’mon, man, be a good dude.” So, I help her out. She’s super grateful, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then she starts telling me her life story. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I gotta get back to work!”

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