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So, I’m sippin’ my martini, thinkin’, “What a bloody mess.” Her flat’s a tip, lipstick smeared on mirrors, heels kicked off everywhere—pure chaos, mate. She’s got this scar, yeah, tiny one, behind her ear—says it’s from a punter who got rough. “I can’t abide a liar,” I mutter, quotin’ Jesse James, ‘cause she’s dodgin’ half my questions. Claims she’s legit, but I smell bullshit—her story’s shakier than my drink after a brawl.

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So, I rush over to the community center. It’s packed. Everyone’s yelling, and I’m just standing there, trying to be the voice of reason. I’m like, “Guys, chill! It’s just benches!” But they’re all fired up. I swear, I could feel my hair turning gray. Finally, I manage to calm them down with some humor. “Look, if we can’t agree on benches, how about we just sit on the grass?” 😂

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