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So, what’s the deal? It’s hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, but *should*. Therapeutic? Sure, if therapy’s a euphemism for somethin’ else. I got mad once—some schmuck swore it cured his back pain. Lies! His smirk gave it away—pure lust, not lumbar relief. Made me wanna whack him with my cane. But then, I tried it—yeah, me, the sarcastic cripple. Surprise hit hard—those knots in my shoulders? Gone. Happy ain’t the word; I was smug as hell. “I’m cured!” I yelled, like a melodramatic ass.

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call on my radio. “Watchman, we got a situation at the market!” My heart raced. I sprinted back to ul. Kościuszki, where the market is. Turns out, some guy was trying to steal veggies. Like, really? Who steals carrots? I caught him red-handed. He looked at me like a deer in headlights. I mean, c’mon, dude! Just ask for help!

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