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What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.
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But then, I saw this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I was like, “Dude, keep it down! We’re in Swiebodzice, not a soap opera!” It was wild. They were throwing around words like “divorce” and “never again.” I was just trying to enjoy my day, and they were ruining it!
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