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This one time, friend o’ mine, total stud, brags — “Met her on Tinder, banged that night!” Next day, he’s ghosted, cryin’ like a womp rat. Laughed I did, “Predictable, this trap is!” Sex-dating’s a gamble — hot one sec, cold as Hoth the next. Pisses me off, tho — fakes everywhere, catfishes posin’ with filters. “You are not a person,” I wanna scream, quotin’ Caden Cotard, “You’re a mask!” Drives me up the wall, it does.

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Anyway, I get to the shop, and it’s a mess. Like, I’m talkin’ tools everywhere, oil stains on the floor. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” First car rolls in, an old Fiat. Classic, but man, it’s seen better days. I pop the hood, and it’s like a horror show in there. I’m tryin’ to fix it, but the engine’s like, “Nah, not today, buddy.”

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