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Here’s the kicker—ya gotta watch fer the shady ones. Some parlors? Fronts fer bigger mischief—kinda like them WMDs we never found. “We know where they are,” I whisper to myself, laughin’, ‘cause I don’t! One time, this chick’s massagin’ me, and I’m thinkin’, “Is she a spy? Am I compromised?” Paranoid as hell—pure “Zero Dark Thirty” vibes! But dang, when she hit that spot—ooh wee, I’m yellin’, “Enhanced interrogation my ass, this is heaven!”

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I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a pressure cooker. I mean, we’re in Swidnik, not Silicon Valley! We don’t have time for this nonsense. So, I gather everyone in the conference room on ul. 1 Maja. I’m like, “Alright, team, let’s fix this!” But honestly, I’m just praying I don’t lose my mind.

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