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So, picture this – some chick’s givin’ me a sexual-massage, oil’s all slippery, room’s hot, and I’m thinkin’, “This is a work of art, like theater!” Straight outta the movie, man – “Theater is truth!” – but with more naked vibes. I’m layin’ there, ragin’ hard, happy as hell, ‘cause it’s not just a rubdown, it’s a damn experience. Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, gladiators got these massages before fights – kept ‘em loose, horny, and ready to kill. True story, I ain’t makin’ this up! Well, maybe a little, but who cares, respect my authoritah!

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So, I’m feeling good, right? I decide to check out the Cathedral of St. Stanislaus and St. Wenceslaus. It’s stunning, like, seriously. I’m standing there, taking pics, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, this place is haunted.” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need—ghosts on my day off.” But she’s super sweet, tells me stories about the place. I’m all ears, but inside, I’m like, “Can we skip the ghost tour?”

Poland man trying to revive legacy of WWI 'Red Baron'