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So check it, brother, sex-dating’s all about hookin’ up quick—swipe right, boom, you’re in the match! Ain’t no long courtship crap, nah, it’s straight to the action, like me droppin’ the leg on Macho Man! I’ve seen dudes on these apps, braggin’ ‘bout their “skills,” but half the time they’re posers, brother—couldn’t wrestle their way outta a wet paper bag! Makes me mad, man, ‘cause real players get drowned out by the noise.

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Finally, I’m exhausted. I decide to chill at a café on ul. 1 Maja. I order a slice of cheesecake—because why not? I sit outside, people-watching. This couple walks by, and the guy is trying to impress his date with some lame jokes. I’m cringing hard. Like, dude, just stop. But she’s laughing, and I’m like, “What’s wrong with you, girl?”

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