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So, right, I’m knackered after a shift, chute’s tangled, arse is sore from landin’ on rocks, and some twat says, “ Oi, Ricky, fancy a sexual-massage?” I’m like, “What, you takin’ the piss? I’d rather wrestle a forest fire blindfolded!” But—hear me out—it’s not all bollocks. Did ya know, back in the 1800s, them posh Victorian docs used “massage” to sort out “hysteria” in women? Yeah, mate, vibrators came from that—fuckin’ wild, innit? True story, google it, I ain’t lyin’!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by ul. Leśna. It’s my go-to spot for some peace. But nope! Not today. There was a kid having a meltdown. I mean, full-on tantrum mode. His mom was trying to bribe him with candy. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who hasn’t been there?

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