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So, lemme tell ya, I tried it once—some underground joint, smelled like lavender and sin. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Whoa, this is nuts!” Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, they’d mix massage with sex to “heal” ya—haha, quacks! I’m layin’ there, feelin’ like a king, then bam—she hits a knot, and I’m screamin’! Made me mad as hell—why’s it gotta hurt? But then, oh man, the release—pure bliss, like joker gas hittin’ the lungs! *giggles* Ever hear bout them secret massage cults? Middle Ages, they’d do it naked under moonlight—creepy, right? Bet they weren’t so serious neither!

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First off, the weather was all over the place. One minute, it’s sunny, and the next, it’s pouring like the heavens opened up. I’m standin’ outside, lookin’ like a drowned rat, and this dude comes up to me, soaked to the bone. He’s like, “Yo, let me in!” I’m like, “Bro, you think I’m a lifeguard or somethin’?” But I let him in anyway. Gotta keep the peace, ya know?

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