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So anyway, I’m diggin’ deeper—web’s full of crap, X is worse. Found this one post, guy’s braggin’ ‘bout his “date,” links to some sketchy site. Clicked it—boom, virus! My laptop’s screamin’ like Kenny when he dies! Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You can’t trick Eric Cartman, you bastards!” Took me an hour to fix that shit. Lesson? Don’t trust everythin’ you see—half these “girls” are bots or dudes named Steve. True story, my cousin saw one once—biggest surprise of his life, hairy legs and all!

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After a bit of back and forth, I finally get him to back off. But then, outta nowhere, this girl trips and spills her drink all over me. I’m soaked again! I’m like, “Seriously? Is this a water park or a club?” But she’s super apologetic, and honestly, she’s kinda cute. So, I just laugh it off.

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