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Aight, so escorts—lowkey heroes, right? They roll up, assistin’ VIPs or just randos who need a hand. I’m talkin’ bout them cats who escort blind folks crossin’ streets, or them bougie ones guardin’ celebs from paparazzi. Real talk, I got mad respect—had this one dude escort me to a gig, kept me from trippin’ over curbs. Saved my ass, no cap! But yo, some escorts out here actin’ shady—overchargin’, ghostin’ clients, that shit pisses me off. Like, bruh, you ain’t Drizzy, keep it 100!

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Finally, we head back to the office. I’m feeling good, right? But then I remember I left my laptop on. Panic mode activated! I rush back, and thank the heavens, it’s still there. But my desk is a mess. Papers everywhere. I’m like, “Who even works here?”

Dr Edward Nowak, Auschwitz prisoner No. 447