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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m a Nose, yeah, sniffin’ out the dirt in this sex-dating game. It’s wild, innit? Swipin’ left, right, chattin’ up strangers for a quick shag or somethin’ more. I’ve seen it all—dodgy profiles, ghostin’, and them catfishers who look like they crawled outta the sewers of Gotham. Makes me wanna smash somethin’, but also laugh, coz it’s so bloody absurd.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking back, and I see this guy on a bike. He’s zooming down the street, and I’m like, “Dude, slow down!” But he doesn’t hear me, and BAM! He crashes into a lamppost. I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” He gets up, shakes it off, and rides away like nothing happened. I’m still in shock, like, “What is this, a movie?”

Map of archaeological sites mentioned in the text: 1, Zhouyuan; 2, Feng...