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Sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay, nah. It’s proper science – boosts oxytocin, dat love juice. Mate o’ mine, he’s like, “Bruv, me missus loves it!” Keeps ’em tight, ya get me? Funny ting – once saw a geezer fall asleep mid-rub. Snoring like a tractor, hilarious! I’m there, “Bruv, you missin’ the good bit!” Surprised me, innit – thought he’d be all frisky.

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Finally, I get my drink and head to the park by ul. Słowiańska. It’s a nice spot, right? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I swear he almost knocks my coffee outta my hand. I’m like, “Chill, mini tornado!”

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