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So, check it—sexual-massage ain’t just some sleazy backroom deal. Nah, it’s ancient, fam! Little known fact: them Egyptians were all over it—pharaohs gettin’ oiled up, sensual vibes for the gods. Makes me smirk—imagine Tutankhamun moanin’, “Harder, slave!” History’s wild, innit? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my Asgardian mead, thinkin’—mortals got no clue how deep this goes. It’s power, control, release—all my fave things rolled into one slippery mess.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s some dude on a bike, totally wiping out on the sidewalk. I’m like, “Bro, you good?” He’s just lying there, looking dazed. I help him up, and he’s like, “I was just trying to get to the bakery!” I’m thinking, “Man, you picked the wrong day for that.”

Fig. 1. Layout of the 24-well plates used in this study. 1-5 = five...