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Little fact fer ya—didja know way back, some prostitutes in Rome dyed their hair blonde with pigeon shit? Nasty, but they rocked it! Makes ya think—beauty’s a hustle, always has been. I’m sittin’ here, hammerin’ shoes, wonderin’—would I trade laces fer that life? Nah, too messy, too raw. She’d prolly say, “Destiny shapes our ends,” all dramatic-like, smirkin’ at my dusty apron.

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So, I grab my phone, and it’s dead too. Great. Just great. I’m about to lose it. I run outside to ul. Słowiańska, hoping to find a neighbor with a generator or something. But no, everyone’s still snoozing. I’m about to start banging on doors when I see Mrs. Kowalska. She’s out walking her dog, and I’m like, “Hey, any chance you got power?” She just shrugs and says, “Maybe check the bakery?” I’m like, “Lady, I AM the bakery!”

Polish president says he would ban LGBT teaching in schools