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Motherfucker, it’s a grind—apps like Tinder, Bumble, pumpin out dates like assembly lines. You got folks lyin bout their height, weight, dick size—hilarious! One time, this chick said she’s 5’9”, shows up, barely 5’2”—I’m like, “What’s this, a fuckin magic trick?” Made me mad as hell, but I laughed, cause what else you gonna do? Then there’s dudes sendin dick pics like it’s a resume—bro, nobody’s hirin!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see my buddy Jarek. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this pig he’s raising. Apparently, it can do tricks. I’m like, “Dude, you’re pulling my leg.” But he insists it can roll over and even play dead. I’m thinking, “If that pig can do all that, I need to get me one!”

A Look at the Atmosphere of “Zucenica Fest” in Tivat