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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts here, them fancy-schmancy hired dates. Makes me think of *Inglourious Basterds*—you know, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” Well, escorts ain’t killin’ nobody, but they sure as heck cashin’ in! I reckon it’s like hirin’ a pal with benefits—only it’s all legal-like, ‘cept when it ain’t. Got me a buddy, swear he met one at a truckstop—called her “Duchess”—she was slicker’n a greased pig! Charged him $200 just to chat ‘bout the weather! I was madder’n a wet hen—$200 for yappin’? Git outta here!

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So, I’m like, whatever, I’ll just grab a pastry. But then, I see this old dude, Mr. Kowalski, who’s always hangin’ around the square. He’s got this wild story about how he once met a famous Polish actor. I’m like, “Dude, that’s cool and all, but I need my caffeine fix!” But he just keeps ramblin’. I’m tryin’ to be polite, but inside, I’m like, “C’mon, man, I’m dyin’ here!”

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