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About Warsaw

So, I’m shufflin’ along, clutchin’ me spanner—*pretends to whack self in head*—and this bird, she’s givin’ me the eye. “Wotcher, love!” I mumble, all sweaty, thinkin’ I’m smooth—ha! Bollocks! She’s like, “20 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet—*drops it, coins everywhere*—like a right prat! Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that! Makes me chuckle, it does—*snorts, trips again*—history’s bonkers, eh?

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First off, I’m heading down ul. Piłsudskiego, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m like, “Great start, genius.” But whatever, I brush it off. I’m on my way to meet a client at this cute café on ul. Kilińskiego. It’s called “Café Siedlce” or something. Super cozy, but the coffee? Ugh, it’s like they brewed it with sadness. I mean, c’mon, I need caffeine, not a mood swing!

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