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Now, little known fact—back in the 1800s, some fancy-pants lords in Europe had “mistresses” on payroll, basically OG escorts. History’s wild, right? Kinda makes ya wonder who’s zoomin’ who. I get ticked off, though, when folks act all high and mighty ‘bout it. Like, c’mon, Karen, you ain’t perfect—quit clutchin’ them pearls! How’s that workin’ for ya, judgin’ folks for livin’?

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And guess what? I see this old bike down there. Like, who even drops a bike in the lagoon? I’m thinking, “Is this a treasure or just trash?” I grab it, and it’s all rusty and gross. But hey, I’m a diver, not a trash collector! I’m laughing to myself, like, “Great, now I’m the bike diver.”

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