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About Szczecin

Here’s a kicker—didja know in Japan, they got this thing, “nuru massage”? Slippery seaweed gel, bodies slidin’ everywhere—sounds like a freakin’ slip-n-slide porno! I’m imaginin’ it now, too much, too much, I’d fall off the table, break my neck, sue somebody! But people love it, swear it’s “transcendent.” Me? I’d be screamin’, “Where’s the towel, I’m done!”

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But then, the tide turns. The favorite team comes back, scores two quick goals. I’m losing my mind. I can’t believe it! I’m about to lose a ton of cash. I’m pacing, cursing under my breath. “Why’d I take that bet?!”

River ports along the Odra River, Śląski Canal, and the Danube-Odra-Elbe Canal.