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Lemme tell ya, I got this client once—big shot, Wall Street wolf—swears a steamy massage in Bangkok back in ’98 saved his marriage. True story! Little known fact: them Thai gals use hot stones sometimes, pressin’ ‘em into your skin ‘til you’re moanin’ louder than a bull market crash. Made me happy as hell hearin’ that—love a good redemption arc! But ugh, what pisses me off? Shady parlors promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ nada—total scam, like a stock tip from a drunk broker.

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After that little scare, we head to the San River. Beautiful spot, right? But I’m still on edge. I’m trying to teach parallel parking, and my student is all over the place. I mean, come on! It’s not rocket science! We’re bumping into the curb like it’s a game of bumper cars. I’m yelling, “Straighten the wheel! No, not that way!” I’m pretty sure the locals were laughing at us.

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