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So, picture this—some dodgy parlor, dim lights, funky smells. We’s sittin’ there, thinkin’, “What’s this rubbish?” Bloke comes in, all “relax, mate,” and starts rubbin’—too close, precious! We hates it! Feels like them alien traps in the movie—“The void opens up!”—but it’s just some greasy geezer kneadin’ yer back. Made me proper mad, that! Who pays for this nonsense?

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So, I’m trying to explain crop rotation, right? And one guy, let’s call him Janek, just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian. I’m like, “Bro, it’s not rocket science!” But he’s all, “We need potatoes, not theories!” I almost lost it. Potatoes are great, but c’mon, let’s think long-term here!

Olivia Gonzalez Reyes - View Obituary & Service Information