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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Been fishin’ all day, hands cramped up, thinkin’ bout somethin’ to loosen me up! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s an art, folks! Picture this: dim lights, oils slicker than a eel, and hands divin’ deeper than I go for trout! Reminds me of *Pan’s Labyrinth*—ya know, “The eyes see not what’s hidden!” That’s sexual-massage—secrets in every touch!

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Finally, the day starts to wind down. I’m exhausted, but then I get a call from the lady with the missing cat. “Mr. Whiskers is back!” she squeals. I’m like, “Thank goodness!” I can’t help but feel a little happy for her.

From Poland with love: Alternative locations for St. Valentine’s dating