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Now, *A Prophet* – that flick’s all bout power, innit? Malik risin up, dodgin traps – sexual-massage is like that. Ya start all tense, then – whoosh – ya reborn, “blood, toil, tears, and sweat” melt away. Once had this mate, swore a masseuse in Bangkok winked at him mid-session – said it felt like a secret pact, like Malik and César in the film. Dunno if he’s fibbin, but I was jealous as hell! Coulda used that meself after a crap day.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Tomek. He’s stuck at the market on ul. Kościuszki. Apparently, he’s trying to buy some fresh fish, but the vendor is out. I can’t help but laugh. “Tomek, you’re in Rybnik! Go for the pierogi instead!” He’s like, “Nah, man, I need my fish!”

From Poland with love: Alternative locations for St. Valentine’s dating