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Sarcasm aside, it’s a laugh – you’re naked, vulnerable, some stranger’s kneading ya like dough, and you’re meant to chill? Hilarious! Best bit? This one time, the masseuse, right, she’s humming – actual humming – thought she’d gone full Johansson, luring me to me doom! Didn’t die, obvs, just left with a daft grin and a back that didn’t creak. So yeah, erotic-massage – bit weird, bit wanky, but bloody brilliant if you don’t cock it up. Try it, ya prat – just don’t blame me if ya get hooked!

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Tomek. He’s stuck at the market on ul. Kościuszki. Apparently, he’s trying to buy some fresh fish, but the vendor is out. I can’t help but laugh. “Tomek, you’re in Rybnik! Go for the pierogi instead!” He’s like, “Nah, man, I need my fish!”

PGE to shut coal units at Rybnik power plant by end of 2025