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Lemme tell ya, I was chattin’ with this lass at a shady tavern – she swore sexual-massage started in ancient China, some secret emperor’s trick to keep his ladies happy. True or not, I was gobsmacked! Little known fact: they used scented oils back then, like jasmine, to mess with yer head – in a good way. Makes me happy thinkin’ how clever those old buggers were. But what pisses me off? These posh spas chargin’ a fortune for it now – “That’s a bingo!” as Hans Landa’d say, but it’s a rip-off! Should be for everyone, not just rich twats.

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Finally, we find the little guy chillin’ under a bench. The owner’s all teary-eyed, and I’m feelin’ like a hero. But then, I remember my sheep. I gotta get back to work! So, I dash off, but not before snaggin’ another zapiekanka. Can’t resist, right?

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