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But here’s a fun factoid—didja know sex-dating apps track your kinks? Yeah, algor—algor—ugh, algorithms! They’re sneaky. One time, I read this study—50% of users hook up in a week! Blew my muppet mind. Happy vibes! Then I’m like, wait—why not me? Am I too froggy? Ribbit, ribbit, sulk.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy, Tomek. We used to run wild around here, causing chaos. We start reminiscing about the good ol’ days, you know? Like that time we snuck into the old church on ul. Księdza Mściwoja. Classic! But then he drops the bomb: he’s moving to Warsaw. WHAT?! I was like, “Dude, you can’t leave me here!” But he’s all about that big city life now. I get it, but still, it stings.