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I’d be nervous, too, sweatin’ bullets, thinkin’, “Am I gonna get caught? Robbed? Turned into a dang pig like Chihiro’s folks?” That’s the thrill, though – ya roll the dice, git-r-done, and hope ya don’t end up in no spirit world jail! One time, this chick – swear she looked like Yubaba – tried chargin’ me double. I said, “Honey, I ain’t no gold-spewin’ river spirit!” Got outta there faster’n a jackrabbit on a date.

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Finally, we settle down, and I start talking about self-determination. I’m all passionate, waving my hands around, and then—BAM! The fire alarm goes off! Seriously? In the middle of my speech? Everyone bolts outta there like it’s a scene from a movie. I’m just standing there, like, “What just happened?”