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Favorite flick, *Goodbye to Language*—Godard’s a madman. “What’s a body?” he asks. Sexual-massage answers: meat to knead. Little known fact—ancient Jedi banned it. Too “distracting” for focus—ha! Imagine Yoda gettin oiled up—gross, right? Got me laughin, picturin that green perv moanin.

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First off, I hit up ul. Grunwaldzka for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my caffeine fix, and this dude in front of me orders a triple-shot, extra foam, unicorn latte or whatever. Like, bro, chill. It’s just coffee, not a magic potion. I roll my eyes so hard, I almost see my brain.