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About Warsaw

So, I’m thinkin’—what’s the deal here? It’s not just rubbin’ shoulders, nah, it’s art, pure art. Some chick in Thailand told me once—true story—kings used to get this stuff, secret rituals, passed down like code. Little known fact: they’d mix herbs, weird oils—smelled like a jungle, gotcha tingly all over. Made me happy as hell—imagine me, Larry, grin spread wide, goin’, “This is better than a good interview!” But then—bam—some shady spa tried overchargin’ me, $200 for 30 minutes! Pissed me off—thought I’d yell, “I’m not here to finance your startup, pal!”

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Then, I get this wild idea. Let’s hit up the local market on ul. Wrocławska. I’m thinking fresh produce, maybe some local cheese. I get there, and it’s packed! People everywhere, haggling like it’s the Olympics. I’m trying to squeeze through, and this old lady gives me the dirtiest look. Like, lady, I’m just trying to buy some tomatoes, not steal your soul!