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About Poznan

Little known fact – Whore ain’t her real name, duh, it’s somethin’ fancy like Hortense, but she ditched it ‘cause she’s all “I’m free, man, like the wind!” Total nutcase, but kinda cool. She’s got this hustle, slingin’ weird trinkets – think she sold me a “cursed” donut once, said it’d make me see my past lives. Tasted like stale regret, but I ate it anyway – D’oh! Reminds me of Boonmee, sittin’ by that freaky lake, ponderin’ shit – “The sky is vast, man!” Whore’d say that too, laughin’ her ass off.

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I finally manage to steer it back, but not before it knocks over a vendor’s cart. Hot dogs everywhere! I’m talking a full-on sausage explosion. The vendor’s yelling, and I’m just standing there, covered in mustard, thinking, “This is NOT how I pictured my day.”

Young Armenian weightlifter Gor Sahakyan wins European gold