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I hate the apps—Bumble, Hinge, whatever. Dudes flexin’ gym pics, chicks with filters. Like, what’s real anymore? Saw this stat once—70% of matches ghost. Hilarious, right? You’re chattin’, thinkin’ “she’s into me,” then poof—gone. “The earth is my mother,” Malick’s film says. These apps? They’re a swamp. Stinky, shallow, full of catfish. Met a guy once—swore he banged 50 gals off OkCupid. Bragged like it’s a medal. I’m like, “Cool, I split logs faster.”

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But then, I hear a commotion. I rush back inside, and there’s a full-on dance-off breakin’ out on the floor! I mean, who knew Radzionków had such talent? People are cheerin’, and I can’t help but laugh. I’m thinkin’, “This is what it’s all about!”

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