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Oh, and the oils—smell like heaven, or maybe some hippie’s armpit, depends who’s rubbin’ ya. Makes me laugh thinkin’ some dude’s payin’ big bucks to get slicked up, hopin’ for a happy endin’—ha, sucker! Sometimes ya just get blue balls and a $50 bill. Sarcasm aside, it’s a trip—relaxes ya, then revs ya up, total mindfuck. Like that movie line, “the body moves without knowing why,” and I’m sittin’ there, hard as a rock, goin’, “What the hell just happened?”

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So, I hit the streets of Radziejow early. I mean, who doesn’t love a good morning stroll? I was cruising down ul. Żyrardowska, feeling all philosophical about consumer behavior. You know, like, why do people buy that ugly sweater? But then, bam! I tripped over a cobblestone. Seriously, who thought that was a good idea? I was like, “Great, now I’m gonna be the weirdo who falls in the middle of the street.”

Holocaust survivor told story to thousands of students