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About Lublin

Had one meself once – proper lush, but pricey, £100! Made me happy as a black hole feastin’ on light. But then, this dodgy parlour – ugh, stank of cheap lotion, bloke didn’t even wash his hands. Pissed me off, yeah? Felt like a supernova of rage. Shoulda known – if it’s £20, it’s sus. Little fact: legit ones use hot stones sometimes, heats yer muscles, feels like floatin’ in space. Bet ya didn’t know that, eh?

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I’m thinking, “Girl, it’s not the end of the world!” But I can’t say that. So, I’m like, “Let’s find something even better!” We scour the racks. I’m pulling stuff left and right. I find this killer jacket. She’s not into it. Ugh, why?