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Alright, y’all, lemme tell ya ‘bout this—prostitute! I’m a baker, sure, but I got eyes, and I see stuff. Dr. Phil here, y’all, with that Southern drawl—how’s that workin’ for ya? This one time, I’m kneadin’ dough, thinkin’ ‘bout *Moonrise Kingdom*, my fave flick—Wes Anderson, 2012, pure gold—and this gal walks by, heels clickin’, skirt shorter than a biscuit recipe. She’s out there, hustlin’, and I’m like, “Well, shoot, she’s got guts!” Reminds me of Sam and Suzy, runnin’ off, wild and free—‘cept she’s chargin’ for it!

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Kasia texts me, “Where r u?” I’m like, “Chill, I’m on my way!” But I’m not. I’m stuck behind this lady with a million shopping bags. I swear, she’s got the entire ul. Kielczow in her hands. I’m about to lose it.