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Ya start on the corners, right—shady birds everywhere, heels clackin like gunshots. One lass, swear down, looked like she’d shiv ya soon as shag ya. I’m cacklin, “Oi love, you the killer or the cure?” She blanked me—rude cow! Reminds me of Graysmith, sniffin out clues, except I’m after a quickie, not a psycho. Did ya know, back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty mares! History’s full of that—little fact for ya, ya ignorant git.

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As the night goes on, we’re playing some games, and I’m feeling good. But then, I get a text from my mom. She’s like, “Did you remember to take out the trash?” I’m like, “Ugh, mom, I’m 30!” But I love her, so I promise I’ll do it tomorrow.

A tribute to wetlands. A wetland restoration centre designed by a student