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Escort ain’t just sex, nah—it’s da whole package. Power, fantasy, control—like in *Her*, where Joaquin’s all needy, talkin’ to dat OS like it’s his soulmate. “I can’t stop thinkin’ about you,” he says. Same deal here—guys get lost in it, thinkin’ it’s real. Fun fact: back in Rome, escorts were high-class, educated broads—called “hetaerae” or some shit. Blows my mind! Not just bangin’, but talkin’ philosophy! Imagine dat in Jersey—some chick in heels quotin’ Plato. Hilarious!

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I roll into the shop on ul. Gdańska, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be smooth.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. First client walks in, this dude named Krzysztof. He’s got hair like a lion’s mane. I mean, seriously, bro, it’s like he’s hiding a family of squirrels in there. I’m like, “What’s up with the hair, man?” He just laughs and says he’s going for the ‘wild’ look. I’m all for self-expression, but c’mon!

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