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Been watchin’ these fools from me warden’s perch. One bloke, right, matched with a lass—thought he’s golden! Turns up, she’s a catfish, uglier than me Gollum mug! Hah! “I want to know who he is,” he whines, like he’s crackin’ some code. Mate, you ain’t Robert Graysmith, it’s jus’ a dodgy pic! Made me cackle, that did—stupid git.

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So, I finally get my act together, and we start the surgery. It’s going smooth until the power goes out. Yup, in the middle of cutting bones! I’m like, “Great, just great.” I’m sweating bullets, and my heart’s racing. But then, the backup generator kicks in. Thank you, whoever invented that thing!

Much crying over spilled beer as lorry sheds load